27:17 'In My Feelings'

He was not the easiest to lose sight of in the crowd. His height easily betrayed him. He didn’t seem to care much about the attention though, because well, you don’t get to negotiate things like height with God before you escape the womb. I met him in church. He looked pretty young and while in one of those “let-us-meet-behind-the-tent-after-the-service” meetings it was evident he had wit. Our conversations were majorly brief and for an introvert like me, shallow waters are not my thing. I love to dive deep, wade in troubled waters to get to the heart of personalities and expressions. But he was too rigid to break through, and unless I really value you, I won’t lay in wait on your walls. If I can’t peel, I’ll deal. And that is fine with me. 

He would make himself comfortable in the back left row, strolling in a few minutes just before the service began, making his silent petitions while awaiting the service to begin. You see the beauty of being a church instrumentalist is that you get to see a lot of things from where you sit. You take note of the early birds and the just-in-time-for-the-sermon people. You spot the super expressive praisers from the cool calm and collected that look like an unmoving monument. I cannot see your heart, but I can surely see the guises. For example, what I would call “selective worship.” It was not a bother for me, I mean I was not the one to receive the praise, but I was curious to know why. Why someone would choose which songs to sing during the singing session of the church program.

This was his answer, “I only sing the songs that I mean.” It made sense at that moment, so I didn’t question further (remember, he doesn’t speak much). Though it left me in thought. I wondered how many times I actually do the same, praise God because I feel like it. It is almost like a light bulb that you switch on and off. We (myself included) on many occasions are seasonal believers. We carry God’s promises with us when things go according to plan, but when God makes an unexpected move on us, we tend to dismiss those promises over our lives, because things have taken an unexpected turn. We use our limited minds to insinuate that we should have known what is attached to the promises we declared. Yet in all honesty, we do not know.

Image: addictioncampuses.com

Faith is not for the promise, it is what holds us when we are served with what the promise comes with, which often is a journey, a process, a lesson to be learned and a maturity to be ingrained. I wonder if we are still as confident now as we were before our current new norm, probably not. Though it is good to be reminded, that the fulfilment of the promise is not determined by changing times but by unchanging faith. I hope we can continue declaring God to be a man of His word even when it does not look like it. If you ask me, it is in these perilous times that our faith and belief in God really do come into play (1st Peter 1:7). This is where we are reminded of the recital, “God is good, ALL the time, and all the time God is good; and that is His nature.” All the time, friend, God is good ALL the time.

The days we are experiencing now, more than ever have given us the grand opportunity to experience God in real ways than we ever will. Normalcy has been invaded to show us that God can still show up in a shut down. It is for us to not only recognize that He is present but acknowledge it loudly for all to see that He is. I don’t know where this season has placed you, but I know this, that One God remains unchanging, and each of us have been given direct access to Him.

I pray we not only know God well enough to trust Him in this season but are aware enough to acknowledge His presence in ALL our ways (Proverbs 3:5-6). It is one thing to know He is with us, it is another to acknowledge it. The latter is an echo that reverberates across spaces, and now more than ever we need it echoed, that God is here, He is with us and He is still good. May we not just wait for better days to have a testimony, but take time each day, so long as it is called today to open our mouths daily, regularly acknowledging His presence in our lives. Whether through song and dance, through clapping or sitting still, in our zoom meetings or our solo monologues, let us acknowledge Him. Acknowledge Him until it makes sense. Worship until you mean it. Do not wait for it to make sense for you to do it, worship aloud, sing aloud, praise aloud, until it makes sense. Say it loud and declare it,

God is here. He is here with me, and He is good.

© namwano

Lyrics from Elevation Worship. Song: The Blessing