namwano

A moment of peace and quiet seems hard to come by these days. Sleep has failed to honour many of us with its presence. Life can be messy for what seems like an unending period of time. But the other thing about it, is that it cannot and never will be linear. It is complex; complicated-and the strangest thing is there is beauty in that complicated state. You cannot really separate it in black and white, but you can recreate it into various shades of grey. But what about that pause? The pause you create because you are afraid; the pause you create because you are too worn out and tired; the pause you create when you’re trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision; the pause you create when you’re tormented by the lie that you are invisible- a movie playing in an empty theatre. It can be a daunting pause that endures horribly.  However, a solitary pause isn’t so bad. It teaches you the art of loving yourself so that you don’t have to use other people as coping mechanisms. ...

“It is one thing to win, it is another thing to win as the real you”. This is my theory of the real me; The real me is not an end, it is who I am now and everyday. The real me is growing; the real me is becoming. And in order to become it, it may take time. In that time it will require, on my part, a resolve to stay committed to the process , hard work that requires sacrifice , and belief that sustains in the seasons when the best version of myself feels like a fallacy. The real me is and will continue to be challenged. My frailty will be inflated, my fear magnified and on several occurrences, I will be greatly mortified. Because I know how deep the cracks of my enmeshed brokenness run and I remain uncertain of the genuineness or fake state of my circle. And by the time I make peace with the reality that ‘This is Me’, I may have lost a couple of things, and sometimes people. Nevertheless, the real me will make good of the wholeness that is crafted by th...

It is not the easiest thing to feel like a royal priesthood every day. It is easier actually, if you ask me, to feel like the Israelites. A bunch of fearful, traumatized individuals walking through high walls of waves with the possibility of death any time. This pandemic has served a cocktail of sturdy and fragile days. Sometimes I feel like Peter, the confident Christ follower who knows Jesus on levels deeper than the seas; levels where flesh and blood do not reveal some intricate mysteries. On other days, I feel like Peter the traitor. If asked to defend Jesus, I’ll outrightly betray him. Because standing up for Him would mean losing myself, yet I like this version of me, and I am not ready to let go. On a daring day I may go all Delilah on you, and go about life hiding my truth until an encounter with Jesus at the well leaves me questioning why a Holy God would still see past the flaws of a thirsty soul. So much so, He would have an in-depth conversation with me, an...

  Photography by: @kilographyke I read an interesting quote a while back that stated this; “In 6 months time, you can either be in the same place or a better place. Focus everyday on improving your health, wealth and happiness. It will take time, but you can make it happen.” As I pondered over the month that has gone by, I decided to do a kind of check-in with myself. Check- ins for me are important, to clarify patterns, habits and behaviors that have either improved and are reflecting a better ‘me’, or have changed and thus exhibited a version of me that has minimal growth. Honestly I can go about thumping my chest about how good I am… but that is not the case today. I think what we perceive as good is humanly relative. But what God says is good, whether or not we accept it as so, is true. There is something many of us including myself use as a tool to try and make us feel a sense of relief. The statement, “I’m not perfect.” Sometimes though, we misuse it as a weap...

  Photo Credits: @KilographyKe at Qontent Studios One thing ‘independence’ teaches you, is how you never want to be alone. I shared this sentiments with a good friend of mine a couple of weeks ago, after my move out of home. It was supposed to be an exciting period for me, but incidences and circumstances can take a tremendous turn sometimes. Your introspection somewhat feels like an emergency surgery from discovery of ‘internal bleeding.’ That’s how I’ve felt for a while, like I was to be worked on or else I’d lose my mind or eventually myself. And so I wrote to a dear friend who out of the usual did something for me that to date remains priceless. Something that reminded me, why I call a countable few, my friends. It wasn’t almost 10 minutes later, that she rang me. I couldn’t respond because I was held up in a meeting. So when I got home, with a smile managing to form on my face knowing it took a lot of courage to face the day, she called me back. Frankly sp...