One thing
‘independence’ teaches you, is how you never want to be alone. I shared this sentiments
with a good friend of mine a couple of weeks ago, after my move out of home. It
was supposed to be an exciting period for me, but incidences and circumstances
can take a tremendous turn sometimes. Your introspection somewhat feels like an
emergency surgery from discovery of ‘internal bleeding.’ That’s how I’ve felt
for a while, like I was to be worked on or else I’d lose my mind or eventually
myself. And so I wrote to a dear friend who out of the usual did something
for me that to date remains priceless. Something that reminded me, why I call a
countable few, my friends.
It wasn’t
almost 10 minutes later, that she rang me. I couldn’t respond because I
was held up in a meeting. So when I got home, with a smile managing to form on
my face knowing it took a lot of courage to face the day, she called me back. Frankly
speaking, I had no energy in me to speak and wanted to simply ignore the call-
because again, being tough, you never really want people to know you feel like
a tragedy through your voice. Nevertheless courage pushes you to do the things you need to do when you don’t
want to do them. I picked up, and after the “hellos” and “how are you
really doing” all she said was,
“I
simply wanted to pray with you...”
I was
speechless, but I knew that this was no ordinary call. It was divine. It was
intentional. It was spirit-led. It reminded me of the words once echoed that “I
would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light. (Hellen
Keller)
I believe
every friendship can be and should be God ordained. Where God calls the shots
on who we are and what we do. Where the values shared are for the purpose of
fulfilling our destinies here on earth. The basics of Christianity such as prayer,
worshipful obedience and humble repentance play a fundamental role in building
pillars that will weather the seasons of life in friendships and relationships.
Hence why, taking time to seek God about who your circle ought to be is very
important. Knowing the time frame for which you ought to be with people is
critical in distinguishing the leaves, branches and roots of your friendship tree.
Who do
you know that will encourage you? Whom can you call or write to and simply say
“I am not okay, would you pray with me?” Whom do you know that loves you and
inspires you? I have noticed that you get greater access to the mind of God
through the perspective of friends. Community that speaks the kingdom language
can challenge you in ways that mould you into Christlikeness. If you make the
bible the centre of your friendships then there is no doubt you will live out
the “iron-sharpens-iron” kind of friendship. Ask each other the hard questions;
for example “Where are you at with your goals?” “What is Jesus teaching you
right now?” “What are you doing about it?”
If your
friends don’t pray for you, you need new friends and if you do not pray for
your friends you probably should rethink why you are with them to begin with. Keep
your friends covered in prayer. You do not need more easy friends that never
ask tough questions. You need someone that will practice mutual responsibility
with you; exercising availability (John 15:13), authenticity (Galatians 6:2-3) and
accountability (Prov. 27:17).
So I challenge you today, to take
an inventory on your friendships and make the necessary changes.
Be open to doing life with
someone. This will include wading in their mess on some
days. Friendship is hard work. It requires both humility and confidence
simultaneously to trust in the best of people rather than view them through the
lens of their shortcomings.
Be waiting and willing to help
someone pursue Jesus together with you. Find time even if for 10
minutes to study and share what you are learning from God’s word.
Let someone know what is going on
with you. How are you really doing? Where are you winning?
Where are you struggling? What can be done to make it better?
Offer love and acceptance regardless
of the state someone may be in. We don’t win every day. On some
days we don’t get it right. The Bible challenges us to speak the truth IN LOVE
(Ephesians 4:15). Many of us need to learn how to do this. Too many times we
leave people wounded by the truth in the name of love. Our responsibility if
any shortcomings are to be presented before us, is to call out the sin while
extending grace to the sinner. Our role is to come alongside the victim and
journey with them back to the space of victory.
Last but
not least, let Jesus be your ultimate friend. He is a constant. And though
at times we may ignore or leave Him behind, He never turns away from us. He is
right there teaching us too, how to be the kind of friend He desires us to be,
so that His love can flow through us to the friendships around us.
To every
bleeding warrior, I pray for you today and stand with you. I pray you have at
least one war mate that will notice you’re at your breaking point and choose to
go the battle on your behalf. I pray you find bold friends that will lift you
up in prayer LOUDLY. Over the phone,
in a restaurant, or as you take your walks.
I pray you will always have that
one person that gets you, on a soul level.
©namwano
Humbled to call you my friend.
ReplyDeleteProud too of that friend who called you 😁
Thank you for doing this journey of friendship with me. I am forever grateful.
DeleteGood read.Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteAsante
DeleteThis should be a reminder to all of us to always evaluate our friendships. Thank you for the reminders of what to look out for in friendships.
ReplyDeleteLove and Light all the way ☺
I am glad you gained some insight from this. One Love!
DeleteSuch a wise girl 😍
ReplyDeleteHonored to be doing life with you 💜
I am honored to be doing life with you too. Thank you for keeping it here!
DeleteThank you Nash for allowing God to use you. This is profound!
ReplyDeleteTo God be all the glory. Asante sana!
DeleteGreat piece Nash. always looking forward to your articles
ReplyDelete