If there’s one thing I have come to learn and still digging deep on what it really is, is this supposedly frenzied subject matter called love. Quite frankly, I think I have been in and out of it numerous times, but the interesting thing is that it has so much to teach you, and you never get enough of it…Ever! In fact you get to crave more and more of it.But allow me to let you into my world. Come tag along and explore the various things that I have personally learnt about love. For some statements you may be like, ‘I knew that’, actually most of them but kindly put your pride and ego aside for a moment and try and reflect on the lessons you too have learnt about it. Hopefully you will relate to most of it if not all of it, if not, well, just go through it for your reading pleasure okay?
1. God is love
It is a proven fact, I have come to see. When I accepted Christ into my life, I was moved by the fact that someone would give his life for me, and die so that I could live. Looking back at my life, I don’t actually deserve to be alive, but then I was introduced to a characteristic called mercy. It is what he keeps on giving me, the many times I do wrong. How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1st John 3:1.
Simply amazing love
2. Love hurts
Before I actually came to believe my number one point, this right here was actually number 1. All I ever knew was that if I was to love someone, I was to get hurt. So I simply avoided people’s company and closeness to me. Any time someone would come forth and so something nice, I would find it very suspicious and the first thing I’d wonder is, ‘What exactly do you want from me’? To me, every one was a suspect and so I built walls that closed both them out; and with them, went the joy and the happiness.
3. Love takes the risk
No man is an Ireland. We all live together with people and whether we decide to live a lonesome life or not, people are always there; both good and bad. When you choose to love, that is a risk you are taking. You are putting you as whole on the line; that is your emotions, your spirituality, and your physical state all on the line. You may have your ambitions when loving someone, and even have an idea of what you want to obtain from that person, but at the end of the day, you are risking many things, e.g. what if you aren’t loved back the way you want? What if the other person is pretending tot love you and is genuine? What if the other person goes away, what next?
Love is a risk; don’t be quick to fulfill your expectations so keep an open mind.
4. Love is always and will always be about the other person
Whether you like it or not, love will always be about the people around you or the person you are with. You are forced to put aside the notion that it’s all about you! You! You! And get into the habit of thinking about others. You need to value other people in order for you to get the same or maybe, just maybe, even much more. More so in my relationship with God, I have come to realize that it isn’t always about what I want or what I need. God too is also part of the equation. In as much as I always want this and that, even He has his needs, He wants His time to talk to me and have me zip my mouth while I listen to what He has to say. Love is a to way thing; its service; its ministry; you ought to put the others needs before yours without thinking twice about it.
5. Love is inbuilt
You were not born with love. You may have been born out of it but certainly not with it. You may have been raised in a forum that showered you with it 24/7, but the truth is there comes a point in time where you personally have to cultivating that love. Circumstances may come your way, and trust me they are bound to do so, you will have no option to practice and show that love. Not just because it is a command, but because you have grown to nurture that love within you. For you to show it, you need to take time every single day to ask God to teach you how to love his people, especially those you need ‘Extra Grace’ with. It’s a process but at the end of it all learn to make the most of it all buy developing it within you with every passing day.
6. Love is not easy
Nothing in this world comes easy. Especially love. Look at the point prior to this one. Does all that look like an easy task to you? Can you do all that in an instant and confidently state yourself as a pro? If that’s the case then come to me and I will tell you how foolish I think you are. But then this leads me to the next point.
7. Love knows no shame in admitting its weak ends
When we come to the point where we swallow our pride and come face to face with our weaknesses then people around know how to handle and care or us. Any form of pretense makes no sense. Why act all gangster type and hard-hearted with no emotion yet you know deep inside that you are getting weaker by the day? Admit your weakness as early as you can identify them. Be honest and more so mature enough to say ‘this is who I am now, these are my weaknesses, and I am willing to ensure that they do not get the best of me, by laying them in the open and getting help whenever necessary. This may help in diffusing tension among you and your companions.
8. Love says it all in black and white
Honesty is a virtue. Not everyone actually have it, very few managed to own it and can be their driving force.
There’s the kind of love I like to call ‘sugar-coated’ love. It is the type of love that envelops the truth so as to keep people from getting hurt. It’s sad that we have people who would still watch you go down the wrong road, and instead of advising you to stop, they actually take you through a detour that leads to utter destruction. I believe in two principles: One, the truth does hurt. Secondly, the truth always sets you free. Now merge those two to form a powerful statement: Yes, the truth hurts, but it always sets you free. Whenever you speak the truth, no matter how painful, embarrassing or hurtful it may be, you win a battle against the devil. You ceil up the foot-hole that he was trying to dig up. You obtain a peace that keeps you calm, giving you no reason to hit back at your opponent. Learn to speak the truth; the bible insists that we speak the truth in love. A lie has never and will never get you to the top. Even if it does, it’s only a matter of time before you come tumbling down to bottom ground. Say it all as it is, and have no apologies for saying the truth. It will at the end be of great benefit to you.
9. Love is all about letting go
If there’s one thing I know I have struggled with for a better part of my life is letting go of past heart breaks, disappointments and they that actually hurt me. There’s this analogy that people have, and I use to have, that if I do not let go then the other person will see and sense that I am not okay because of him or her and will automatically feel bad and sorry for them. Ironically, the more I held on to the grudges, the happier I saw them, the more I realized that they most probably forgot about it and chose to live their lives despite the atrocities they may have committed. Listen, you too deserve that same happiness and joy that they have. They may have hurt you, and no, its not justified, but you have to make a choice on whom or what dictates your happiness and your life as a whole. Remember hurting people hurt others, and maybe you too are unknowingly making people unhappy. Choose to let go of it all. Surrender it all to Jesus and let Him deal with your heart, because in your own strength, you won’t manage. Forgive. Let that be the main aim in any hurting relationship that you are in, coz think of it this way, Christ forgave you, then why shouldn’t do so yet you are his follower? Let the love that you proclaim be seen in your actions, and in this case, letting go is a way of expressing love. Forgive.
I read somewhere in Joyce Meyers book, In The Power of Forgiveness, that when we choose to forgive others, we release ourselves from sin's power. The act of forgiving them allows God to work this will and our healing in the situation. Forgiveness in the power that will change life of defeat into one of victory.
10. Love is endless
You never know the end of it. Why; Because God himself is love, and He is eternal. That’s how the love that we have ought to be. People have limits when it comes to love. When things are all rosy and all seems A-okay, they chose to give of themselves fully sometimes to the extent that they go beyond what they can contain or afford just to please that person. But when all hell breaks loose, the take to their heels with the love they came with. There’s yet another principle that I chose to live by: ‘If you can’t love me when I am in a bad state, then you certainly don’t deserve me when I am at my best.’ Learn to love, in and out of season, come rain come sunshine. Through storms and various challenges that people go through, especially those close to you, hold each other’s hand. Be there to catch the other when they are falling. Be there to hold them close when they are crying. Be there to pray with them, when words seem difficult to come by. Celebrate their victories together, without any form of jealousy. Stand by them when they fail. Encourage them when it seems like they have reached the end of their road.
Let the love that you possess be one that is endless and limitless. Let the world know & remember you to be a cloud that always rained with showers of love for everyone.
- Love is worth it
That for me is the ultimate lesson at the end of the day. It may be costly, confusing at times, bring pain and do more damage than a sharp knife, but at the end of the day, it is worthit. I would want to love every single day of my life. One because God loves me and so I have every reason to love back, and secondly because, I find it a hard task hating someone. Seriously, when it comes to hate, I put in effort for something that will totally disoriente my way of think, my way of handling and caring for people. But when I chose to love, with all sincerity, I do less of the worrying and more of the caring, because it is of great benefit not only to me, but those around me. Yes it may have its ups and downs, but quite frankly that is life for you... The road will not always be smooth, nor will it always be rough. You will have different seasons in your life, so I urge you to love in the midst of them all.
In as much as this is what I have learnt about love, I do admit that it isn’t all of it. There’s a lot more I am learning, and desire to keep learning about it.
Although, I cannot end this without quoting what God says about love.
ME: What is love?
GOD: DAUGHTER, THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS;
1st Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails...THAT IS THE LOVE THAT I KNOW!
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