namwano

It is not the easiest thing to feel like a royal priesthood every day. It is easier actually, if you ask me, to feel like the Israelites. A bunch of fearful, traumatized individuals walking through high walls of waves with the possibility of death any time. This pandemic has served a cocktail of sturdy and fragile days. Sometimes I feel like Peter, the confident Christ follower who knows Jesus on levels deeper than the seas; levels where flesh and blood do not reveal some intricate mysteries. On other days, I feel like Peter the traitor. If asked to defend Jesus, I’ll outrightly betray him. Because standing up for Him would mean losing myself, yet I like this version of me, and I am not ready to let go. On a daring day I may go all Delilah on you, and go about life hiding my truth until an encounter with Jesus at the well leaves me questioning why a Holy God would still see past the flaws of a thirsty soul. So much so, He would have an in-depth conversation with me, an

He was not the easiest to lose sight of in the crowd. His height easily betrayed him. He didn’t seem to care much about the attention though, because well, you don’t get to negotiate things like height with God before you escape the womb. I met him in church. He looked pretty young and while in one of those “let-us-meet-behind-the-tent-after-the-service” meetings it was evident he had wit. Our conversations were majorly brief and for an introvert like me, shallow waters are not my thing. I love to dive deep, wade in troubled waters to get to the heart of personalities and expressions. But he was too rigid to break through, and unless I really value you, I won’t lay in wait on your walls. If I can’t peel, I’ll deal. And that is fine with me.  He would make himself comfortable in the back left row, strolling in a few minutes just before the service began, making his silent petitions while awaiting the service to begin. You see the beauty of being a church instrument

It feels good to be free! Free in the sense that whatever it was that was holding me back no longer has its hold on me. But my freedom has come with a sense of loss too. The kind of loss that I am not used to. You see losing is not really the issue, but being patient enough to wait on God for what He sees fit for me is the hardest bit. That includes purpose, godly company & ordained assignments. At this point in life, every decision is a destiny decision and so I cannot afford to take things lightly. Also how do you suddenly become bold when all you have ever known and mastered is living afraid? I figured, like a muscle, you exercise boldness. You keep working at it until it becomes less of a struggle and more of a lifestyle. I started regaining my life to heal in anonymity. A few close friends were aware of my journey and kept a loving distance to allow my wounds some breathing space. After coming from a war between who I used to be and who I really am, I needed nothin

The motive behind any kind of establishment is the determinant of its upward thrive or downright downfall. When it comes to human beings, why you choose to embark on a journey of friendship with someone is part of the foundation that can either withstand the tests of time, or like the house built on sand, be washed away by the winds and storms of life. (Matthew 7:26:-27) Friendships are and will always be tested-but what is actually under trial is usually the motive behind the friendship. There is a purpose for everything-including friendship. And until we accept that there is a ‘why’ attached to the ‘what’, we will always classify friendship as a casual part of our everyday life when in real sense, there is a purpose for everyone you meet-whether for a season or for destiny. And so I reiterate what I mentioned earlier in my previous post , that when you walk with God closely, He may reveal to you people with whom you will; 1)         Either grow & keep boundaries

Remember the agreement I had made with fear? Yes, it was powerful jotting it down; and I was confident that this energizing moment would revolutionize my life for good. Little did I know that just because I had made a pact, did not mean I would automatically be immune to the fear. Yes, fear could not stay, but my reality brought to the surface that from a distance, fear was waiting on me to come back and get as comfortable as it was before. It was cold outside of me, and the thing with fear, is that it is never really settled on the outside, because you can see it. But once it finds its way to the inner most parts of you, then it knows it has won.  But I have known this kind of space. It is called transition. It is a process that is packed with expectation, anxiety, excitement and sometimes gloom over what you are about to lose- that is transition for you. And because I forced fear to make an exit, I then made room for God and faith to make an entry. He was not just com