namwano

I love my life. The high days and low existences all conjured up in one big colorful bead just makes it all the more sensational. I am that girl, you know that girl? That girl, who takes a day at a time, doesn’t move until she’s 100% sure she is right, but still along the way takes the risk and finds out “it wasn’t so bad after all?” Yes, I am that girl; that girl whose in love with being the martyr and never desires others to be that for her. Actually I do, it’s just that I don’t show that side of me most times. Though through the lens of God, I believe in being vulnerable… as hard as it may be, it is one the tools one needs in their survival kit in this journey called life, plus, it’s a requirement in my relationship with God (Hebrews 4:13)(and yours too) A while back, my buddies and I engaged in conversation about numerous topics under the sun; genuine love, trust, being judgmental and more so living life as a closed book. The last one gripped my attention “Living life as

New moon, full moon Burnishing its course through grilled glass Outlining every angle of an ill-defined shadow I hear the sound of the wind I feel it too I know it’s saying something But I am raw to its meaning I stay put Clinging to the gloom Perceiving the cost of befallen doom Awaken me from this nightmare Shell out this toll of despair Sing a song And let me hear it Stretch out your hand And ask me for a dance if you see fit Drown the anxiety engulfed in my sprit Let me find a joy and happiness so exquisite Light up the sun in my heart Disregard the fears within my soul Bring in the radiance To shine in my world as dark as coal Eradicate the torment Let me live happy ever after and not just a moment Mute the screams, the yells, the mourns and groans And let the beauty of the silence serenade my being. Lord, Cover me in the shadow of your wing, Eternally, Let me soak in the warmth of your ecstasy Taki

Bad reaper, Bad reaper Crawled in Unannounced Plucking the unripe fruit Of virtuousness So juvenile, So tender Sweet, To the taste of its tongue But bitter, to my instincts. Stinging, to my eyes, with tears Crushing To my bones. No strength within me So I drop dreary on the surface… thank God, not made of stone. White sheet, immense heat Same moves, different persona Reverse to the bottomless pit of… Square one. No emotion, no reaction No articulation Hence no satisfaction. So this is love ey? Today Jimmy Tomorrow Johnny? True, One says I’m authentic; the other ten narrate I’m Fake I mean how much more can I take? Never once appreciated the genuine affirmation Of optimum caring So I stick to this game… this game called ‘Dead Loving.’    

The evening is streaming in Away from the hustle and bustle of the city I lazily lapse into the silence Under my little cottage Resting my chin in my right hand. I wonder, Oh how I wonder. I question, Though the silence responds, But with vague answers. My toes twitch As my thoughts, dart this way and that. I know who I am I know what I want. Though you say nothing Thus the uneasy state… My uneasy state. What I’m I to believe at this rate? Are you an acquaintance or my real soul mate? This far I have come with you by my side Tell me, Should I let go, or keep walking with pride? Signs of pain Appear on my face If you were anywhere near me You’d know I’m in dire need of Amazing grace That grace that once saved a wretch The kind I feel like now I feel so lost Eager to be found I am blinded By your so called ‘love’ I hope that I