27:1 'UNEARTHED'

The motive behind any kind of establishment is the determinant of its upward thrive or downright downfall. When it comes to human beings, why you choose to embark on a journey of friendship with someone is part of the foundation that can either withstand the tests of time, or like the house built on sand, be washed away by the winds and storms of life. (Matthew 7:26:-27)

Friendships are and will always be tested-but what is actually under trial is usually the motive behind the friendship. There is a purpose for everything-including friendship. And until we accept that there is a ‘why’ attached to the ‘what’, we will always classify friendship as a casual part of our everyday life when in real sense, there is a purpose for everyone you meet-whether for a season or for destiny.

And so I reiterate what I mentioned earlier in my previous post, that when you walk with God closely, He may reveal to you people with whom you will;

1)        Either grow & keep boundaries with or

2)        Let go of without burning bridges.

I had met my match (or so I thought) of people I thought could fit my terms and conditions for thriving in friendship. You know, we loved God but were somewhat not too serious about Him for fear of being ridiculed. We pretty much played our self-created roles both in the kingdom and in the world. In the kingdom we were the singers, dancers, worship leaders and spiritual-discipline followers that “the law” required us to be. In the world, we kept the cool, calm & collected visage whilst hanging around the lives of our parties because we preferred to fit in rather than stand out.

Being different back when I was little was a daunting task- I did not choose it; it chose me and to date I have no idea why and how it saw me as a qualified candidate. Fitting in was easy, but only because I had not yet ‘dated me.’ I mastered the art of how to be like everyone else other than myself. Plus seeing myself as “just a girl with nothing much to offer but God (who at that time did not look or feel enough for me)” had me seeking fillings for my void. But I was wary of one thing-me; the real me! I had envisioned how the ‘real me’ would somehow cause a great divide between the people I wanted to be classified with and who I truly was. Calculating the cost though, I opted not to pay the price; even though later in life, there would ultimately be a price to pay.

God was all I had known. To some extent I wondered how people survived without Him. So in addition to having it ingrained in me that He was the only one that mattered in life, I had purposed that I would make an effort to show people that they were nothing without God.

The thing with being so acquainted with one particular train of thought, is that when options are presented before you, you sometimes want to taste and see IF God alone is really good; just to have additional experiential evidence to qualify your unwavering trust.

Perhaps the issue here was not really the crowd-the issue was the lack of confidence in my God that I began to acquire, having been presented with options that seemingly looked more fulfilling than my way of living. I wanted badly to belong to the chosen; to be the go to girl without compromising standards. It felt good being a hero until being a hero slowly eradicated my identity. You see I walked into friend zones thinking I’d be secure in the person that I was-but when other identities appear to bear more fruit than your own, therein lies a curiosity to find out why and how to be exactly like that.

Unless friendships are forged as God-incidences and not coincidences, we will always seek out to be anything other than who God created us to be in the capacity of a friend. God did not create you to make friends to be like them, He created you to make friends to learn from and grow with, and still be fully and authentically you. Too many times we pursue friendships with the aim of ‘becoming’ more like a certain person and in the process lose ourselves. We forfeit the grand opportunity to live life as our authentic selves and eventually inspire others to succeed at being who they really are.

I knew what was required of me but I down played it; simply because I feared myself. I feared my voice. I feared my truth. I feared my worth. I feared my walk. I feared my talk. I knew that all this brought to the table would scatter the masses because it was contrary to popular opinions, and I was not ready to stand on my own. So for every piece of me that I lost, I took on a piece of someone else to create a spitting image that I would eventually come face to face with and detest. Among the pieces I took on… was her….

P.S. Subscribe to continue receiving the rest of the story :-)