THIS THING CALLED PAIN

One of the hardest things in life to do is to get rid of something you have over the years become attached to. Materially, I can bet that many of us currently have or at least had, at some point in time, something that they had become very fond of. Still, there could be a person that we are or were at some point in time fond off. For some it worked to their advantage as it brought forth their heart’s desire. For others, well... the story doesn’t end quite well and they would rather not even mention it or sense a hint of it. Nevertheless, no matter how young or old you may be, there’s always something or someone your heart may never quite release completely. As to why, it could be the impact that it or they brought in to your life. The difference, the change that you probably never imagined you would ever experience.

There’s this one thing however, that has suddenly been embraced by many who don’t even realize it’s killing them faster than they think. And for some, though they know it’s destroying them, they pretty much don’t care because they have given up trying to get rid of it and forget about it. They have simply become fond of it.

It’s called pain. Not many realise it, but too many of us have adapted to the state of landing within its prison and simply decorating its premises. It closes us in and purposes to deprive us from our focus ahead and with its evil hands chocks the life out of us to the point of surrender. The thing I find interesting is how we literally give in. We give it room to rule and reign and meander through life under its cloud as it rains on us. We have the umbrella of comfort offered freely to us by our heavenly father but instead we choose to leave it behind ramble across hell and high water simply because we are used to it.

We all go through pain; some longer than others. But I have come to realize that our response to pain is what determines how long we end up holding on to it, acting like it’s our best friend or how we release it freely because we don’t want it in control to a dead end.

Pain is sweet- that’s a false lie I got to believe during a tumultuous period in my life. I used to love to pain. It quickly became a part of my everyday living. It was one of cures to my mental frustrations. Whenever I felt it, I actually felt at ease with myself (that’s what happens when your mind is seared from the things of God). Residing in its prison, self injury became a natural habit like brushing teeth at dusk and at dawn. The beauty of life having slowly faded away with only bits of its rays bouncing back from my spirit had victoriously caused me to believe that nothing was left to smile about. Not even my visage on the mirror. In fact, I rarely did look into a mirror because I loathed what I saw; but even when I was forced to, all I’d do was see past what many saw and called beautiful... All I read clearly outlined in the mirror spelled P.A.I.N. and nothing or no one at the time could convince me that there was anything else left to see.

Though with every trying moment in time comes an amount of sufficient grace available to carry you through. On the other hand you have to choose to accept it or ignore it for it to be effective in your life. Hear me clearly though, I am not saying, ‘get used to the pain’, no... I am saying train your mind to accept it more as a classroom to learn from with grace as the given utility tool rather than a prison you’re locked up in to torture you for the rest of your life-hence you getting used to it.

I’ve often wondered why people tend to own or brand pain and call it “My Pain”. Who owns something that does more of harming you than help you? It’s absurd right? But the reality is, many of us, have tolerated so much pain that it has become a part of us. We pat it like a little kitten, pamper it like a lover to his or her partner and get caught up in the web and false reality that it’s normal to dwell in pain. It isn’t! It’s like trying to convince me that if I see the sun shining from a distance and I’m lost in the middle of a thicket, it’s a normal thing to habituate in it... would that really make sense?

One of the things I have learnt and still learning is that you cannot dwell in pain forever. Pain is something designed to make you stronger. It has levels, and if you stick to the same level, you will never fulfil the beauty and greatness that was meant to be brought out eventually by that pain. Pain is a school. It has different classes for you to go through and as you go higher and higher you become a better and stronger individual.

Truth is we often at times never see it that way. We choose to endure it which then eventually causes it to be our master. We react according to our pain. We listen to what it says and does what it dictates, yet we are given power and authority to have it under our control. Our pain breeds bitterness within us and eventually whatever or whoever may have hurt us seemingly becomes more of an enemy than a friend. You harbour things like malice and spend more of your time cracking your brain on how to revenge rather than how to reconcile for your own good. And who eventually gets hurt in the process? No one else but you...

Some of us try and escape the pain-hence the many stories of drug abuse, emotional disorientation and many other issues. I personally had one major way of escaping, which was blasting music in my ears. Of course it worked for a moment, but when the music stops playing, then you realise you didn’t move an inch from the problem and that made me all the more depressed. As if that was not enough, self injury became quite relevant for me-and no I didn’t cut myself or do those extreme actions we see young people doing on tv with needles and glass, but I always pressed my head against a form of metal while holding my breath, and when I felt the pain was extreme then I’d exhale and feel quite a relief (weird, but I did it all the same, and it brought a sense of relief; that’s what happens when your conscience is sealed from the Holy spirit)

Never try to escape your pain (easier said than done, I know but learn from me) it never works. It’s like running in the darkness with no sense of direction hoping a light will just pop up and boom! You will be on the other side with no pain at all. It reminds me of the dark tunnel water slide at the coast. For you to get to the other side; you won’t go over the slide. Neither will you go under it; neither will you go around it. You will simply have to gather the courage to go through it (of course as you yell and scream) so as to fulfil the purpose of getting to the other side. Same thing with pain; you will not achieve the purpose for which God may have put you in your situation unless you determine in faith, confidence and trust to go through the pain with His help. I’ve heard it said severally, if God can bring you to it, He will bring you through it”. He is God. Trust in the promise and declare like David that, “Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.”Psalm 23:4

But after all is said and done, learn to enlist your pain. What is that? In simplicity it means, don’t just sit there waiting for some magical thing to make it fade away; participate in the actual process of having it die away. It doesn’t matter how long it will rain, sometimes you have to show pain who’s the boss. Be the master, don’t let it control you, let it work for you. As I said earlier, pain is a school. Learn the intended lessons in it and God as He said will work things out together for your good (Rom. 8:28)

Take the first step and choose to admit that you are hurting and you cannot take it any longer. God above all else understands and is pleased when we come to Him just as we are; vulnerable before Him. He delights in those who call unto Him in their time of trouble; those who confess that they cannot do it on their own, because truth is we cannot handle pain in our own strength. Only in Him are we able to find the ability to stick it out because His grace is ever so sufficient for us.

In your lamentation always remember to make a declaration.

It’s good to pour out your heart to God but is better and wiser to speak out and His promises into your life, for He says that His word will not return to Him void, “but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (Is.55:11). Declare that despite and in spite of your pain, you will wait upon Him so as to renew your strength and soar above the storms of your life (Is. 40:31)

Pain is not yours to keep, it’s His to carry and pull you through. It isn’t for you to harbour; it’s for you to release into the Potter’s hands. It isn’t for you to escape, it’s for you to go through and learn from. It isn’t for you to feel sorry for yourself; it’s for you to make a conqueror out of yourself. It’s not to enslave you; it’s to release you into the next level; it’s not master you; it’s yours to master.

So whatever season of pain you are experiencing in your life today, keep going. If you have been getting comfortable, stop and be proactive in learning what it is you have to. If it’s overwhelming, don’t try and deal with it all by yourself. You have a father, who is willing to give you rest (Matt. 11:28-30) Open up about it, and let God shine His light as He leads you through. Be honest about it for by being honest about your pain do you eventually receive the effective healing that you need.

If you have given up, I suggest you go to God and repent for making Him look like a liar. When you choose to live in unbelief that things won’t work out for you, then how do you expect God to prove Himself to you?

Choose not to be hopeless dear friend; that is not your portion. Your work is to give God that pain. He says in different portions of scripture how we should cast all our burdens upon Him (1.Pet.5:7, Psalm. 55:22) I love the reason... because He cares for you.

God loves you so much that He wants to help you with the pain that you are going through. He wants to be there for you; to hold you to comfort you and restore you back to that place of freedom from it all. He wants to carry you through too, because He believes in your capability to handle the situation as He guides you through.

Honour God by placing your trust in Him; allow this season to create in you a different perspective on who God is to you as an individual. Cry if you must, yell if you wish; but never throw your hands up and say “I have given up” unless you know you are going to die the next minute. As long as you’re breathing, you will get through your pain, a better you. So let it build your character, to be the testimony that a hopeless world needs to be encouraged.

It shall be well; in fact, it is well with you... declare it, and live each day knowing, you are closer to the light at the end of the tunnel. So be refined, be modified, be restored, and be healed. But ultimately, I declare... Be Made Whole,

In Jesus name,

Amen.

©namwano