THE OL' SCHOOL DIVA'S DIARY

THE OL’ SCHOOL DIVA’S DIARY

In a world where the trending acts of lust and sex among young people continues to be on the rise, one cannot help but wonder where the gold ol’ morals disappeared to. Our generation sorry to say is quickly becoming immune to the differentiation between ‘black and white’. For some reason, there’s no clear distinction between the two. We live in a world prone to accept shades of grey when it comes to making decisions. A “No” is no longer a clear distinct no… there’s always a maybe or how far can we go without getting into trouble. A “Yes” is no longer a clear yes; it comes with conditions to be fulfilled.

Look around you and you will see-we are trying hard to deal with a menace that is spreading fast throughout an entire generation. I remember while in lower primary, I always paid attention to the frequently quoted statement, “You are the chosen generation,” but now years later, I actually wonder, if we really are, and if indeed we are then why don’t we behave like so?

It’s a bit hard not to notice the growing trend of attraction to sex and seduction in our day and age. Sex especially, has become such a cheap commodity these days given for free to whoever wants it. It’s like a readily available good shared among the young people, some of whom have not even hit puberty. Though it’s sad that so many stoop so low to create a supermarket of themselves with the tag line, “You need it, I’ve got it”. Only difference is once the good is purchased there’s no restock-only left-overs from a customer whose probably gone to look for the same item in the next available and open shop. Then what next? Another unwise customer comes to do the same purchase of the remains; and the cycle keeps going round and round.

It’s plain to see the destruction that sex, which was once held as a sacred item, restricted only for the married is now no longer accepted as so, but rather as a way and means to prove someone’s love for the other. (Whatever love that is, it’s pretty much twisted and cheap to say the least.) Many, who over the years have kept themselves chaste, now feel overwhelmed by the fact that they are saving themselves for marriage instead of being proud about that with no apologies. As a result, sadly, they opt to experiment with anyone available to them, putting aside all they’ve worked for to keep their dignity just to enjoy temporal pleasure at the expense of guaranteed future bliss. The talk of today is not “How are you fairing with your relationship with God,” it’s more of where were you last night, who did you meet with, did you sleep with him/her, how was it etc. Raise a conversation about God today amongst young people and you will have switched off the concentration span to the end of your speech or sermon. But introduce anything echoed with the words, lust, deceit, lies and politics of seduction and you will have them glued to you like the hungry wolves.

What happened along the way?

I’ll tell you what happened; we lost our focus along the way. We became immune to the existence of the Holy Spirit within us and chose to keep the things of God as “Sunday-To-Do-Lists” rather than practise the disciplines of our faith daily without fail. We chose the easier road rather than the right road. We chose to create our own path and do things our way, hoping that God will understand that His way is just too hard to walk through. We threw in the towel. Results of our “Abstinence ‘til Marriage” actions were seemingly not forthcoming in our eyes-we forgot it’s not just about the physical but the spiritual too. And now, here we are a “sexy” generation per say that lives, breaths, eats, drinks and thinks, S.E.X.!

I sometimes sit down and think to myself, “Why the big fuss about it?” “Why is everyone doing it?” “Why now and why not later?”

You see, majority of us young guys are engaged in sexual activity simply because we agree to do so. We fix ourselves in positions that compromise our Christian beliefs especially that of purity and expect the Holy Spirit will come down like superman and snatch us out automatically from the situation. And when it doesn’t, we choose to go with the flow instead of listening to our consciences reminding us to flee from sexual immorality and everything that encompasses it. (1^st Cor. 6:18) We think more of the present acquisition rather than the future investment. We care so much for our reputation before men now, than our honour before men in the days to come, forgetting that the choices we make today, shape our tomorrow.

Allow me to keep it real, and I pray that even as you read this, it won’t be another lecture on abstinence from another “church-going-virgin” but it will open your eyes to realise that, there’s more to you than just engaging in sexual activity.

Sex is not a necessity like food; it is a gift that has been entrusted to each of us to keep for our God-intended partner. Now picture this; you unravel someone else’s gift and share it with other people who have no right whatsoever to enjoy it…. Isn’t that selfish? Would you want someone else to be enjoying your gift? So why go around squandering and misusing someone else’s gift? Why give it away to people who care less the fact that it is specially designed for one person of whom you will spend the rest of your life with? Why not invest in making that gift even better for that person by keeping yourself pure and holy before God for him/her?

The world won’t tell you to wait for marriage to have sex because everyone is in a hurry to satisfy all manner of physical, emotional and of late financial cravings that are budding within and around them. Everyone is after a quick fix, and very few opt to endure a processional fix. “Salvation” has come in condoms, ARV’S , abortions and many other ways that people seem to have to cure there problems. Though, I’m here to tell you, you won’t find any satisfaction until you find God. He is the only one who can fill your hunger and quench your thirst. The world may have solutions to your problems, but don’t you get tired feeling empty every now and then, having to seek for something new just to take you one more stretch? Christ Came that we may have life and have it in abundance (John 10:10) You won’t die without a peck; you won’t die without an embrace; you won’t die without a kiss; you won’t die without making out and you certainly won’t die without having sex before you get married (I’m still alive 21 years later-UNTOUCHED, and I’m perfectly fine, I’m not a robot, I’m flesh with red blood flowing through me like you …challenge to you.)

Picture yourself in an organization where the rules and regulations are ever changing every three months; will you settle? Won’t you be frustrated? Would you want to move to a working environment that’s more stable? Same principle applies with the world. The world has so many dictators trying to outdo each other with several rules and regulations. Today this is the in thing, tomorrow it’s trashed and a new rule comes in. There’s no stability in the rules and regulations of the world and if you ask me trying to keep up with it all is like working a full time job I am not getting paid for.

On the other hand, we have the word of God; this is my favourite. It doesn’t change but it is the same yesterday today and forever. It stands the test of time and simply doing what it does produces results that I can enjoy not just in my present, but in my future life as well. Now here is a sense of sobriety. I don’t have to be tossed left or right, up and down every now and then by fallible rules; I just stick to the rules of the word of God and I will prosper.

I’m not a virgin because I’m scared of STD’s, or pregnancies or because no one has approached me due to my status, or because I’ll disappoint those who look up to me. Those are simple reasons but not the main ones. I am a virgin, because I love my God. I love Him so much that I desire to do that which He tells me to do. It can be crazy sometimes (believe me I know) but that is what you do for the one you love; you put your needs last and put theirs first. God says, “If you Love Me, keep my commandments,”-as simple as that. I do it all to please my God because if He is pleased and I delight myself in Him, He says He will give me the desires of my heart.” (Psalm 37:4) That right there includes, “The Man of my dreams” (For the guys you would say “The woman of my dreams”).

Do you love God? Do you truly want to please Him? Then you can’t afford to live on the fence. You can’t afford to follow two sets of rules, it’s either you are for Him, or against Him. Period! I’m not saying it’s easy, even God Himself knows it’s not- but He promises to send us a helper; the Holy Spirit, to not only remind us, of the precepts that we ought to obey but to help us apply them as well. The Holy Spirit is assigned to each of us-it only becomes effective when we give it room to do so. The Bible tells us, in Gal. 5:16, “So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves” (New Living Translation). You can only go as far as you allow yourself to go my friend; the choice is yours on whether you will walk hand in hand with spirit and trust that what it’s telling you to do is for your good, or ignore it and end up with a broken relationship with the one individual that would have protected you-The Holy Spirit!

So I challenge you today choose to be a protector-not a predator.

Ladies;

1. Protect your selves. Protect your body.

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies.” 1^st Corinthians 6:19-20

2. “Your body is a temple; not a visitors centre”… get it!
3.  Focus on creating yourself rather than finding yourself. This you can only do as you delve into God’s word, take note of what He wants you to do and do it out of reverence and love for Him.

An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. 1^st Corinthians 7:34

4. Be the kind of person you want to meet and spend the rest of your life with. Develop in you the fruits of the Holy spirit, and above all, daily practice, show and spread the real kind of Love (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

5. Don’t be insecure, looking for love. Be confident in who and whose you are and let love find you.

6. You don’t have to engage in kissing making out and sex to feel loved. If you do, check your relationship status with the Holy Spirit and do the necessary changes.

7. You may be the type of no nonsense lad that is discrete but speaks her mind. Honey, don’t get it twisted, that is a plus. Like me you may probably be those staunch Christians that love her God and in every way desires to serve and please Him, but others call it being too spiritual and boring. In the words of Madea “Honey, folk gonna talk about you ‘til the day you die-let them talk.” It should boost you not demoralize you… Keep it Jesus and let the man who deserves you find you in the Holy of Holies. Don’t leave there to chase after a man until God Himself hands you over to him and says, yes, “He can take it from here-you’re in safe hands.”

8. If you’re engaged in all the making out, and the pecks and kisses and sex every now and then, dear love, STOP IT! Take a chill pill darling and start thinking of investing in yourself for a better future for you and your man. You won’t die dear- keep around people and healthy environments that don’t encourage you to do these things. You can always begin on a clean slate, it is never too late. God’s grace is sufficient and believe it or not, God has His arms wide open ready for you to come back and begin a fresh with Him, if only you believe so and take that step of faith.

9. If you’re in a relationship, invest in the telling and not the showing. Words too are strong when they are genuine. If you can’t be content with the telling then you certainly don’t deserve to enjoy the showing.

10. Maintain your stand on purity. Be firm about it from the get go; don’t sugar coat anything. You may probably say something the man may not want to hear and there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re not on earth please man-no one who disrespects your purity deserves your attention, time or dime.

 

Gentlemen;

1. Protect yourselves from the Promiscuous Woman
Yes, they exist; those readily available to take you to bed whenever they want. Stay away from such and flee leaving no address behind. This is not just for your present safety but your future enjoyment of what has been set aside for you and the woman of your dreams.

2. Protect your female friends
…and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters. (1 Timothy 5:2) We need you to be our warriors. Scotty Scott, I believe put it well when he stated “A real man protects covers and cares for a woman, not abuses her need to be loved (Scotty Scott’s:  A No Nonsense Guide to Life)”

3. Don’t think you’re strong if you aren’t engaged in sexual activity. You’re still flesh and blood, if you fail to continually walk in the sprit it won’t be long before you’re part of the trending crowd.

4.  Quite the preying
We all have a sex drive; that’s a given. Though truth is it only becomes stronger when you keep on feeding it. The movies, the flirting, the making out, the pornography, the music, websites etc are bound to increase your hunger and thirst to nurse the flesh and thus kill the effectiveness of the Holy Spirit in your life. You will always be hunting down instead of being calmed down. So quite the preying and invest in your spirituality. Hang out with the fellows in decent environments; night clubs, overnights with alcohol and half naked women won’t get you a good but cheap woman. You don’t want that for yourself now do you?

 

And finally to all brethren;

Involve Jesus Christ in your day to day lives. Let your relationship with God set the standard for how you carry yourself in other relationships especially those intending to get married. You can’t be wavering in your relationship with God and expect to be stable in your relationship. God has to be first and foremost your first before any other person. Reason being only He can show you how to love back genuinely. It won’t be all about what you see but rather the process of building a partner that God intended him/her to be.

The message has been spoken and shall continue to be preached. Come rain, come sunshine, I stand my ground as one of the few remnants who believe, “Old, is Gold”

Abstain ‘til Marriage.

You now know your role… now go forth and be exactly who you were called to be.

©namwano