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...STILL BEAUTIFUL

When the darkness covers the earth, I lay back on my bed
With nothing to be heard, and nothing to be said
But emotions feel my heart of hearts, mostly those that are sad
Because it seems everything around me just chooses to be bad
With tears flowing down my face, hoping to cleanse my soul
I realize that somethings in this life, are barely in my control
Each and every split second reminisce how to change this state I am in
Because the longer I postpone it, the likely I am to sin
You say I should let it go and start living my own life
Forgive him you say, avoid any form of strife
Not for him but rather for your self….
But I look at you and think…..

Have you any Idea what I’ve been through
Have you any idea how it feels to walk in my shoe
Does it ever cross your mind, what it took me even break this down to you

Day after day I lay back on the ground
Nothing meaningful seems to come around
In the silence of the night, the memories run through my head
I try to speak, but to no avail and even when I do I hope no one has heard what I’ve said

I loved you from the beginning with all of my heart
And I was assured that with you I’d be shielded from all the hurt
You were my hero, the one I looked up to
The one I knew would always look into my eyes and state, ‘Baby I’m proud of you’
You knew how take the pain away
Even though at times I caused you pain, You never failed to let me know you will always be here to stay
But I guess now I realize, maybe it was all in vain
Coz out of all it, I had nothing positive to attain
I used to hate pain, but now it’s a part of me
I used to detest being on my own, but now that’s just how things are going to be
I have no hope at all, because all see
Is nothing but a life that I wish would end abruptly

Sounds insane but that’s just how it feels
Every time I catch a glimpse of you, I get the chills
You instilled a fear, one that I myself can’t run
It has overshadowed me completely, I feel like I can burn
Oh how I wish I can take an immediate U-Turn
Change all this catastrophe, and maybe once again, have a feel of good fun…

I glow on the outside, a side that many appreciate
They see me and discern, that I will always love them, and never once hesitate
To care and make the feel like they are above all else special
And must at all times with no apologies, walk tall
But deep inside of me, my heart is bleeding
My spirit is wounded and my soul is pleading
For I long to feel that special love again
A love that once had meaning, a love that once bore good fruit…

But now there’s no need to, because it’s all in vain
Trust that was once cherished, was swept away by the pouring rain
Of guilt, shame, anger, and pain
It’s become too much too hold inside
Gone are the days where, I would stroll before many with pride

But this one thing do know for sure…

I AM STILL BEAUTIFUL...

Beauty is upon me like the sunshine on the Earth

Beauty is upon me like the day God granted birth

Beauty is upon me like the wings on butterflies

Beauty is upon me like the grace that God supplies

I have always been, and will forever continue to be BEAUTIFUL...

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