Skip to main content

27:16 'Altars'

"God..."
That is how most of my prayers have started and ended when asked to pray. I can't get past this simple yet grandeur three letter word because of the chaotic poetry built in my mind, when the response to "How are you really doing?" comes with a narrative filled with doubt, fears and sometimes tears.
"God... Help... "
Well, that is not too bad, at least I've gathered whatever little strength I have within me, to get a little bit more of His attention, by calling Him by name and asking for what I want. Actually it is not what I want, it's what I need. I need help. But the prayers sometimes end there, and if I'm to start again, they are a repetition of the same. Then, another word,
“God... Help... Me...”
That's it! I think that's a good enough prayer, and frankly it's taken every ounce of strength in me to say it, through sobs and wails. The rest of the prayer is more of wailing, and I'm a firm believer He is well able to interpret the wails. I don't know about you, but I haven't yet mastered the artistry of having much to say to God. Especially of late, because the prayers sound monotonous. My frail mind thinks I'm bothering God when in the real sense, God has been longing to hear me pour my heart out about everything; the good the bad and the downright ugly. Sometimes all I do is sit and stare into space, with a million questions left unanswered, but with this reminder that remains constant, "I will be with you." (Joshua 1:5)
Image: Vincent van Gogh
Lately, it seems to be true, that sometimes God can either change the situation, or change you in the process. On one end I feel He's changing me, but I battle more with Him on changing the situation. For me that would be ideally how I know God is good, if the situation changes. But God is not a vehicle I've been taught to maneuver and manipulate, He's both the manufacturer and the driver of this vehicle called life. On most occasions, I'll have to be on the passenger’s sit, with confidence and trust that He will get me safely, in one piece, to my destination.
The passenger’s sit sucks sometimes when you have been taught how to drive. You wish you could take over and ride at your pace, blaring your music without a “Be still” light indicating on your dash board. Nevertheless, the truth is this, that even when you think you know, you really don't know. God has designed us in such a way that our lives have the capacity to unlearn and relearn the fundamentals and complexities of life. 
I think one among many other blessings that comes out of this season is this, an altar has and is being created in the midst of uncertainty; that attached to the adversity is a seed of equal or greater benefit in the long haul. It is great that a heart’s posture be realigned with its creator, for it to beat aright amidst threat to have it do otherwise.
May we in this unprecedented times find comfort and build our hope in the truth that we can come to God, just as we are. For He has allowed us to come to Him, with every need we may have. In these times, may we constantly be reminded of His loving powerful presence that enables us to remain steadfast, even in these changing times.
©namwano

Comments

  1. Every Altar has a sacrifice and priest. God change me not just the circumstances around me.Thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TOO MUCH

  Why is it so easy to say I’m fine? Hardly do you ever think about it, Effortlessly, it slides from between your lips. Especially, When all that lies around you is witness to the total opposite. Seasons really never last forever, There are those when the party just won’t stop Then others when silence invades, the kind like pin drop. A silence to kill or a silence to heal, A silence that kills, echoes various unheard voices, Screaming piercingly on the inside... The result... is a temporary brain freeze. Silence that heals fabricates unheard melodies, Calm, gentle that are soothing to the soul. I then wonder and it dawns... this is just too much Or is it?   Do I fear too much? Do I care too much? Do I worry too much? Do I question too much? Do I think too much? Do I foresee too much? Do I trust so much? And if I do, will I hurt, just a little too much? Do I wonder too much? Do I give too much? Do I expect too much? Have I love...

FROM THE COMFORT ZONE TO WHERE LIFE REALLY HAPPENS (OUTSIDE IT)

Image courtesy of www.loc.gov A question was asked to me a couple of weeks ago, phrased in this way…   “What things do you see in your personal life where you might be resisting change?” (Think about this for some time before proceeding to read and hold on to your answer) Frustration tends to build up when things do not go as expected. Change is something each of us responds to differently. There are those who see it as an adventure. Their adrenaline shoots up at the thought of experiencing something or somewhere new. Others like myself take time to embrace it, calculating every single step as we move along. We like to know the details of where we are, what we ought to do, and better still what the future will hold. We dwell mostly in the questioning quarters than boarding the bus headed to “new”.  The word “new” scares us. We’d rather be comfortable with what we know, than be put in a place that expects us to figure things out on our own; and if it takes us ...

MANY QUESTIONS & ONE ANSWER

I’m a few years into what is known as the critical decade of life. On some days, this journey is a smooth sail, you kick back, relax and you enjoy the blessings that come with being “young and free”. I admit though that clarity on life seems far-fetched on some days and you pay a hefty price for being “young and foolish”. For days on end, I have wondered what God’s will is; for my life and particularly in scenarios that seem to suck the life out of me. In distress, I question “What is your will in all this confusion Lord?” It is hard to comprehend God Himself, which affirms His word that echoes that His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). Ask me how I got this far in my life, and I’ll probably be quick to let you know “By the way, I too do not know, it must have been and still is by grace, which is sufficient.” Sometimes I wish I knew what next; but eventually when I get to know, I go ahead to inquire the purpose behind the current circum...