BEYOND THE FLAWS

Image: nownovel.com

If there is one thing I have learned is the importance of accepting change as it comes. Change comes like an unexpected visitor sometimes. It knocks at your doorstep, and you have the choice to welcome it or not. We love it, when it brings us good tidings of great joy, and loathe it when it takes away something or someone we have held on to. We dislike it when it puts up a fight and we are obliged to surrender to the call of a higher authority. But that is change- the ‘frienemy’ that is hard to ignore. 

While doing a random self-examination, I was prompted to take seriously the need to avoid settling for “just being me”. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that it’s a bad thing; I support living in your truth. However, living in your truth does not necessarily mean settling for the norm when there’s opportunity and support for growth and improvement. 

I must confess, I got to know, how prideful I was when truths were prayerfully being revealed one by one. I get defensive when I’m being corrected. I’d rather lead in word than follow in deed. I get angry sometimes and unlike many who explode, I bury it deep down. But still that does not make me any less of a sinner. I can be extremely unresponsive and slow to change. I get moody, and in the process can develop a short temper. I’ll work hard to justify my actions, though deep down I know all too well that I’m on the wrong. My flaws are numerous, some of which I may not even know but may be revealed as life unfolds. And like many, I will accept them and seal the deal that, “love me or not, that is just who I am,” right? WRONG!

There’s an inevitable mirror that each of us has to face daily- it is called the truth. It may be camouflaged or buried six feet under, but it will never lose its identity. It can be patient at the beginning; giving you time to embrace it and take it as it is. However, when you fight it, its power can overwhelm you. You either live in it, or you know no peace. Truth may bring some hurt and pain, but both of these are for a season and purpose. We are reminded that knowledge of the truth shall set one free. It shows that there is a result to knowing the truth. It is not just for you to have but there is something to occur by virtue of your knowledge; and that is freedom. 

We all know our flaws and maybe others around us can pin point them too. Some of us are stubborn. We simply refuse to adhere to instruction. Maybe you are arrogant. Your speech filters anything that speaks of “us” and all that’s left is “me, myself and I”. You may be vengeful. Making people feel the way you do is your ultimate goal, and plotting the perfect strategy to do so is your current occupation. You may be lazy- you believe in other people doing the task but you. Or maybe you are rude or short –tempered. You have no filter whatsoever when you speak. Thinking through what you need to say before you say it, is a waste of time for you. Or you could be reading this and thinking of someone else who should be reading it … why not you?

Or maybe you have self-pity. You think of yourself as one of the worst (or ultimately the worst) person to have ever existed. You are convinced that others deserve the best but you. You see something good; an opportunity. But rather than pursue it, you take a back sit, because you don’t think you are worth it and even if you are, you fear failure and the humiliation of losing. So your utterances demean your confidence. 

Hear me friend, the world owes you nothing. A friend of mine challenged me in the realest way with these words: “Stop taking refuge in your personal disposition. You have the capacity to modify your behavior. “I’m just like that, you have to understand me” is a statement we have heard or have said before. Allowing ourselves to stick to that small, confined space will always stagnate our growth. Behavior can change, so can perceptions and so can your disposition. So stop taking refuge in your weaknesses and using them as an excuse to misguided and inappropriate behavior.” And when that was said, repentance followed. (You can take a few minutes to do the same right now.)

Ephesians 4:31, The Message version tells us to “Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, and profane talk.” In other words get rid of all these things; anger, bitterness, malice, self-pity etc. You are not to indulge or be associated with them.

But how then do you do so?

Here are four things I suggest you put into practice:

1. Admit you are flawed and prayerfully identify your flaws (Psalm 51:3; James 5:16)
2. Counteract each flaw with God’s word (Psalm 139:23-24)
3. Surrender each of them to God with the aim of becoming more Christ-Like (Ephesians 4:31-32)
4. Discipline yourself to “Do You God’s Way”. Take charge of how you carry yourself, what you say, what you listen to, what you think, your attitude, actions and emotions. (Philippians 4:7-8; Romans 12:1-2)

Life is not to be lived apologizing but improving. Admitting your faults and truly identifying your weaknesses before God, is an indication that you are willing to lay down what you know yourself to be for who He has called you to be; and that takes a whole lot of discipline. When Christ is in you, He transforms you. There is never room for you and God on the altar. It’s either you or Him. All this helps us understand the concept of grace; that it is all about opportunity for transformation. You are to become more and more like Christ. To become means “to come, change, or grow to be (as specified)”.

In essence, I embrace my flaws as my own, but I take a step further to release them before the one who calls me His own. For in Him, my dilapidated strength is transformed by the joy that He gives; my selfish desires are remade into selfless acts of worship to Him and service to His people; and my words are no longer spit out like a gushing fountain but thought through and spoken as wisdom obtained from feeding on His daily bread. 

God has been extremely patient – a characteristic of His that He is teaching me to extend to others. My work in progress is not something to shout from the roof tops about, because again, I do not know when and how or whether I will pass the same test, if it is to come again. Nonetheless, my flaws are assets brought to the light, giving me a choice to either grow in wisdom or be resentful and thus keep me from experiencing what it really means to be like Christ. 

Christ-likeness is the standard. My willingness and deep desire to get there are the prerequisites. My determination to get back up when I’ve messed up is the greatest attitude. And the partnership with the Holy Spirit to continually be at work in me is the greatest decision. I wasn’t made to be comfortable. I was made to grow. My flaws should therefore cause me to desire something more than just embracing me as me. They should propel me to embrace me as God would have me be. And for as long as I live, then I have an assignment; to go beyond my flaws and become more like Christ.

Beyond annoyance there is patience. Beyond self-sufficiency lies dependence. Beyond anger lingers forgiveness and compassion. Beyond pride is humility that cries out to be embraced for your maturity. Beyond the hatred and bitterness, lies unconditional love. Beyond the fear is the courage to overcome it. Beyond what you can’t control is the opportunity to let go and live free. Beyond envy and jealousy is the art of contentment. And ultimately beyond yourself, there is God who is greater than all.

Run to the end of yourself; view and live life beyond the flaws!