AFTER THE UPSHOT WHAT NEXT?

Times like these, no words can be uttered at all, even if I wanted to. I look intently at the millions of women (and men) who for one reason or another have had their hearts broken. Shuttered into pieces by what once used to bring them joy, hope and reason for living.

It’s a world full of broken hearts, and if you don’t believe me, you probably need to turn your radio up and listen to the hits of today. Everyone seems to be singing of broken hearts like it’s a festive season incorporated in the calendar. There’s consolation from every artist you can think of and one way or another, we find ourselves soaked into the lyrics of the song coz as many say, “it speaks to me.” The aftermath of music as a remedy to forget it all is this: you will listen to it for some minutes but it won’t change the damage on the inside. You will request it all the time there’s a request show or better still download it so you can blast it for all to hear on replay. Question from others though will be, who wants to know you’re hurting anyway (they may not say it directly but if you’re keen you will perceive from their movements) That’s how cruel the world is honey, people care less what happened and how it hurt you than more of listening and walking down the road of recovery with you… but I am not the world, I care. And so does God, even more than I do.

In the excruciating heat of this side of the Sahara I observe at a distance a lady gazing at the last of the sunset that is setting across the beach on the other side. From the maxi dress that she was adorned in with her body gorgeously laid out on a leso above the sand, I concluded for sure, she was beautiful Her long, dark hair blew in the direction of the wind (I admit I was jealous for just a second ( long hair is every woman’s dream… well most of ‘em) With earphones locked to her ears it was obvious the message she was sending; “Kindly Do Not Disturb” (yes, there days we just need to be alone-no men, no kids, no work… just me, myself and I)

As I myself wondered why my attention was drawn to her as I sipped down my sun-downer, I quickly reverted to reading my precious literature, realizing that I’d lost track of where I was reading. But I got it and carried on with my adventure (When reading a good book, it’s always an adventure, only ardent readers can conquer with me). Minutes later my mind drifted again and I couldn’t help but soak up the horizon that was now more beautiful than before. A dash of orange, some touch of yellow, puffs of white from some of the elapsed  clouds and a flock of birds every now and then flying back after meandering in the region of the sky… all these made it a comforting evening.

Slowly by slowly it grew dark, and one by one, individuals and love birds begun to disappear. The lady that I had been glaring at didn’t make a move. She stayed right where she was. It was pretty odd but probably she was still taking in the last of the amazing view. Not so far from her was a couple seemingly all over each other. Their fingers were intertwined at one point, then before long the Queen of the moment was carried high and twirled around as we heard echoes of her laughter. You couldn’t blame her, plus the ambience was perfect for such an activity. Then they stalled not so far from the Nubian Queen and gazed at each other once in a while as they kissed. Whether married or not truth is I don’t know and at that point I didn’t care. I loved the sight of love or “love” and smiled at it for the longest time. Queen Nubia (as I chose to dub her) didn’t look too pleased. She stood from where she was, knocking down her glass of juice, packed her leso and strolled away right passed them, like she was about to vent or cry. Though that’s what struck me… the fact that that sight changed her state of repose to one of agitation. Maybe she was disgusted (I know some who would be, then would quickly turn around to ask an interested party, Hizi PDA ni za nini, ata hawana haya)… sounds familiar? Mhmmm…

Though it got me thinking, probably it did bring back memories of what she once had; what she once felt. Probably at some point, she was that girl being twirled around for all to see, ‘She’s the one.’ Probably at some point in her life, she believed with the man that she had, it would always be “Us against the world”. But now, it is no more… it has all faded away. It is her and an empty space against the world, and she doesn’t know how she will make it through.

I know it’s the easiest thing to say and hardest thing to do, but dear friend, Life MUST move on. We all have our share of heartbreaks (I know I’ve had mine). The thing is not to measure whose is more intense than the other but to realize that we all have something we can learn from them and share with those that come after us and look up to us.

Unless you are without breath and buried, you have every reason to push on to fulfill the dream within you. No excuses; just keep living your life to the maximum, making the most of every opportunity and hoping for the best. Do not put a full stop where God has placed a comma, Move! Fine, the world has hit you and hit you hard (piece of advice, it only gets harder so brace yourself) but you’ve got to purpose that nothing in this world will take away your joy. Not any mortal, not lack of material things, not missing your ex… Nothing, should steal your joy.  Speak life. Once you know you have life, you then know the essence of seeking to experience unspeakable joy.

Where do you find it? In the presence of God.

I’m not telling you to be in church everyday (though if you want to, go right ahead), I’m saying find time to seek out God right where you. You have the word of God with you. Delve into it and seek to find what He has in store for you, especially for those who have experienced heartbreak. Something interesting about the word of God is that it never lacks something to say about your situation. So be keen. Speak the word of God through prayer over your life and allow it to change you.

Have hope. In God there’s hope. We always say that once we have God, we have all we need. Romans 12:12 tells us, “Rejoice in Hope, be patient in tribulation and constant in prayer”. If you find yourself constantly on your knees crying out to God because of the circumstances you’re in, you are in the best position to receive His best. He probably needed to pull some people away from you to get your attention-and He has.

God loves you. His desire is not to see you hurt. I mean you are the apple of his eye, imagine trying to poke your own pupil… it would first be absurd and secondly excruciatingly painful. God cares about you. He wishes you would see that first before looking to any other man or woman to give you what He is. He is Love! Can you hear Him say so? That’s what He says… He wants to be your number one and if you trust Him, He promises you that He will never leave you nor forsake you. He may be unseen, but trust me He is at work right within. Would you let Him be your number one? Take a chance & see things take the ultimate turn for your life.

So to all those healing from the pain and the reality that you are back to square one, rejoice. It isn’t over until God says so. Yes you may be disappointed, but remember, a disappointment is not an inconvenience if you are in the will of God. It is an intended appointment between you and God to take the necessary lessons/tools for your next task that leads to your destiny and above all, your victory.

Open the windows of your heart today and let in the fresh breeze of a new kind of love today. Spray the fragrance of joy and let it fill the room of your heart once again. Let the aroma of peace relax your mind and dance like no one’s watching. Let go of it all, the hurt, pain, shame, loneliness, guilt… let it all go simply because IT DOESN’T BELONG TO YOU! Don’t hold your breath much longer after inhaling the negativity, it’s time to exhale… it’s time to live free. So move… and Be free!

©namwano