TRANSITION BY FAITH!

It’s never the right time to say goodbye. I hate goodbyes; especially when they are for a long period of time. There’s always the feeling that you’re tearing apart or disconnected from a source that brings life to your everyday living. Nothing is ever the same and having to give last hugs and show affection for the last time to the ones you know and love is disheartening.

I had a good life (with all due respect, it pays to be very honest). Life before coming to the mission field was all pure sunshine. I’d bask in the rays of pure happiness. Wake up at the crack of dawn, say my morning prayers and hum noticeably in the shower coz of the glorious day I knew it would be. Whether I had a boring lecture to attend or buddies to meet or simply sit in front of the computer and research on anything captivating… the thing was, I was happy; from the inside out.

Then came the demoralizing news one evening… Dad had been transferred to another church. As a pastor’s kid, I probably got used it and I knew I this time round, I wouldn’t have to move because I had been released to serve elsewhere but not too far. However, that wasn’t the announcement. We were moving, yes… but to another country. WHAT??????????????

“NO WAY!” Was my first reaction, not in an eager manner but a rather adamant one. It wasn’t a request he was making, it was a command. By the look in his eyes, he did not come home to request us to go, but he had already made up his mind on behalf of the other three members of the family. I actually thought that was selfish. “Why can’t we sit down and discuss this matter?”

Yes, we did, but at the end of the day it was like we were fighting a losing battle. Dad had said, and his word was final.

From that day henceforth, my life had changed for good. And the very keen friends noticed I was never myself. (How can you anyway?) Many nights I lay on my bed. The Soft sheets of moonlight had a way to soothe my weary soul. Overwhelmed by emotions, I would try and wonder why this had to happen. It felt more like a punishment and less like a golden opportunity.

I had a reservoir of tears stored in my soul, but most times I couldn’t help but open it and let them flow. I couldn’t pray. Not that I didn’t know how, I just didn’t want to. Though I know God knew my heart. Sometimes you don’t force words out of your mouth; God is God and as understanding as He is, your spirit connected to His enables Him to hear those silent prayers uttered on tear stained pillows.

I didn’t want to go. I simply did not. I know life was hard enough, but the solution dear Lord, was not to throw me right in the middle of the unknown; with no one and nothing familiar. Why couldn’t I just have a little heaven down here where I knew at least I had people to talk to, a shoulder to lean and cry on at whatever time of day or night?

I detested my very own life back then. I was whacked up. No peace, no joy; only a pretending young woman: young and confident, on the outside, full of warmth and acceptance but jam-packed with spells of depression on the inside. I wanted to scream. My mind was spinning, with thoughts flying back and forth. I wouldn’t be surprised if somewhere along the line I rebelled and found comfort at the corner of a bar than in the front pew of a church service. It was too much for me to handle.

As days grew closer, I gave up trying to avoid reality. Stepping into a house full of boxes, with the smell of paint to welcome you into every room made me stop running and simply accept the fact that we were on transit. 27^th December 2012 we bored the plane that landed in Bujumbura, Burundi at exactly 0220hrs, Kenyan time.

I am here a month later, alive and well. It is never easy or exciting moving from the known to the unknown. But we must always believe this one thing; God does not send us out alone, He provides help. He sends you out because He believes you can actually handle the task He is laying out for you. The appropriate thing to do is to humble yourself and give yourself in total surrender.

Now if you’re like me who loves to be in control, this is one hard lesson you will have to learn so as to build your character in the best way possible. Jesus has to be the one behind the driver’s sit of your life, not you. Put him, beside you, behind you or in the boot and you are bound not to go far or worse still, crash! Don’t act like a know it all… God doesn’t need you but He chooses you anyway. Now that is humbling.

So after all I said and done, all you can ever do is surrender. I left all I knew for what I don’t know. Though the All-knowing God was and still is holding my hand, leading me every step of the way. As a daughter of the King, the least I should do is worry. The best as I can do is Trust. Have faith. Be still and know He is God (Psalm 46:10). He is God and He changes not.

So I choose to trust. I choose to have faith. I choose to walk by faith and not by sight. I choose to release myself to God, the All-knowing Creator who knows the end from the beginning. I choose to give my all and watch God show up in it and Show off through it. I choose to be happy. To meditate on the good things God has in store for me and everything that concerns me. Life may be different. Change is something you have to get used to as a human being. It’s inevitable. Don’t push it away. Allow it to happen. In the kingdom of God, there’s always change. It may seem like the hardest thing you will ever do but it is unavoidable. Accept it. There’s nothing as bad as not obeying when you are told move. Obey! And move!

Learn to give your all. You may not see the reward at the moment but don’t let that be your motivation. Let what you are getting out of the process motivate you. Change builds you. It makes you grow. It works on you. It develops you and best still… it sets you apart for better things in the days to come.

So if ever you are told to move, whether to your next door neighbor to encourage them or to the ends of the earth to share the gospel…. Obey, and Move. God knows what He is up to. Don’t miss an opportunity to allow Him to show Himself strong through you.

Obey, and Move.