The devil
is such a pro at what he does. He’s tactics? Pretty smart I must say. There’s
more to him than just the image everyone portrays him to be; an ugly, black and
red guy that sits close by or far away with a long ‘folk’, horns on his head
and a tail. (Who came up with that figure, I wonder). You ask how I know; well
I journeyed with one of his greatest companions for a moment in time. His name…
Fear!
This
guy…oh…this guy! The memories still fresh in my mind run through in-disoriented.
It’s like replaying the story of my former years on big screen. Mr. Fear was
sent to me a while back with intentions to bring me close to his master’s self
in order to control my every move and have me be like him if not better.
I
didn’t mind at first. Life had been tough before that and at that moment, I
wanted nothing to do with anything and anyone. I only had the following
friends; me, my self and I. They knew each other and knew me too. (Sounds hard to understand but that is what
fear does to you-makes you think you are the only one in your situation and
there’s no help for you. Or if there be help, it is out of reach, expensive and
will take too much effort.)
‘Fear’
approached me in a very sleek manner. For that I give him credit. Any woman who
had a ‘pliant’ heart would undoubtedly melt at the sound of his tone of voice.
He wasn’t a loud mouth, all-over-the place kind of guy. He was very reserved;
the cool, calm and collected guy. Didn’t talk much-just minded his business as
usual. He knew his place and was capable of pursuing anyone and everyone… that
is, if you allowed him to. Very classy guy; the more you got to know him, the
more comfortable you felt around him. He’d take you down nice and slow. And sooner than later he’d find a way to
‘take care’ of you, his way. (N: B- When
you give fear even a minute of your attention; 60 seconds may actually be
enough to make you see False Evidence Appearing Real; It has a way of
convincing you that what you know Is, Is not-and what you know is not, Is. Be
very careful. Any sense of fear, get rid of it without thinking twice-it will
destroy you if you tolerate it.)
One
thing that caught my eye; he had a way with words. He never seized to talk,
usually because I was quick to give a listening ear. Most people I hang out
with didn’t like him that much. They snared, talked behind his back laughed and
scoffed at him. They’d see him and quickly turn the other way and walk tall,
sauntering left, right and center. One friend of mine called ‘Faith’ told me
not to be like him (Do not be Afraid
Deut. 3:16), apparently that was the term they called those who associated
with him. I didn’t like that. And yet they called themselves ‘good people’.
Besides not liking it, I didn’t understand them and why they were the way they
were towards him.
He
said what my ears wanted to hear, and my heart and mind agreed that it all made
perfect sense. (Fear originates lies. It
always starts small and once you’re caught in the trap, it becomes so much a
part of you that find it hard to believe, THE TRUTH. Fear binds you and you
become a part of those chained by lies.)
I grew
fond of him. He became a part of me and me a part of him. He knew my every
move. Nothing about me was hidden from him. My strengths, my weaknesses, he
knew them all… surprisingly even those I didn’t know. I got to realize them
with him around. Isn’t he the best? Doing what a man is expected to do which is
‘leading the way’? What a man- An admirable one at that. He made promises,
countless ones. Some he fulfilled; others, well I really didn’t care if he did
or he did not. But wait! At some point, I did. In fact there came a point in
time, I really felt empty. I wasn’t at ease with my self. On the outside I would
show that I appreciated all he did (keep me from harm and danger, getting hurt,
being mocked etc) but on the inside there was something missing.
One day
on our usual meetings, he noticed my low moods and was pretty much disturbed by
it. I told him that I would be fine if he left me at the restaurant, coz I’d
catch a cab home, but he didn’t agree. He insisted on taking me home by himself
which I found quite selfish. I thought I had the right to make my own decisions
in as much as he was the head of the relationship. I started to feel more like
a slave and less like a queen.
So he
took me home, dropped me and sped off. I was pretty much surprised coz I thought
as the man he would be there to comfort me and try and bring me back to the
place where I felt all was well. He didn’t- So unlike him. Anyway, I began to
walk towards the house, when suddenly I hear laughter. It was coming from
across the road. I turned quickly, and there were my friends, sited along a
bench, chatting away filled with joy. They were smiling, giving each other high
fives, some were laughing ‘til they drop to the ground… It was a beautiful
sight. Suddenly, I felt a longing: A deep desire to be like them and in their
midst. (A time shall come when you will
somehow get back to your senses. It could be today, tomorrow, this very minute
or next year, You will notice that something is not right with and in you and
you have to change it When that feeling of emptiness strikes you act at that
very moment by finding out why you feel that way. The best way to do so… PRAYER)
I
wanted to join in, but fear always told me, that such people are of a
particular caliber and I wouldn’t be able to fit in. He told me that what they
had was not real-it was just a mask, but deep inside they were miserable. I remember
once I saw them cry in a church service and felt strange. The pastor at the
altar called forward those who were feeling discouraged, helpless and broken
inside. They went, I didn’t. Why? Fear had told me that I was strong enough to
handle everything on my own if I only put in more effort. Those who were going
were said to be weak according to Mr. Fear. And I too believed so. I then felt
like a pro. Starting to plan how I’d work my way through each problem. Thing
was I failed all the time. And every time I did, I didn’t like it. But fear
always told me, no one would want to associate with a failure. I believed that
to. But how was I to change the scenario? “Just keep to your self”, fear said. “Keep
trying to work things on your own; if you come out in the open, to try and do
something new, you may fail again, people will laugh and you will spend more
nights crying than enjoying peace, do you want that?” “No!” I replied. (There you have it. The main aim of fear is
to keep you from doing the extra-ordinary, even when you have plenty of chances
to do so. It make you feel like you are nothing, you are not worth it and you’re
not qualified. It will convince you otherwise and make you think unnecessarily).
That’s
how life has been-year in, year out. I get into the house and the phone rings. It’s
Faith! How nice I think to my self. But she and fear were greatest of enemies. So
I was hesitant at first in picking her call. It kept on ringing and ringing. What
if fear walked in and found me talking to Faith? Won’t he burst out of his skin
and be angry with me? But the more I thought about it, the more the anxiety I had.
So I took the risk, and answered the call. Can you come outside we have some “me
and you” time? She said. “Sure, give me a few minutes.” This was exciting. I had
someone who wanted to talk to me? So cool I tell you. I felt like jumping out
of my skin. But as I left the house, I heard Mr. Fear Drive in. My few seconds
of sunny rays just turned into a dark cloud. And yes, I admit, I was afraid. “Where
are you going?” he asked. “To…see…faith…” I stammered. “Don’t ever mention that
name in my presence! He yelled.
I began
to shake. Did I make a mistake in wanting to be with a friend? I mean lately fear
would just give me reason not to do something, but after the desire that crept
in, those reasons never felt valid anymore. And when I failed, he didn’t say
anything nice. I remember being told once, “You will never make it!” And I thought
to myself, “Why are the rest making it then?” (Fear makes you feel that when you’re down you can never get back up
again, and if you do, you will not last long. It never encourages you. It
leaves you as you are. Faith steps in, and makes a change, that is, if you give
it room to do so.)
“Look,
I said I am going to see faith and you are not going to stop me!” (Put your foot down when the devil tries to
make your fearful. Remember this verse, 2 Tim. 1:7) I walked out and
slammed the door behind me. I was trembling, my feet were wobbling and I couldn’t
understand what was going on. My heart was racing and so was my mind. I fell to
the ground and let out a cry… “Jesus! Hold me”. Suddenly I felt a hand on my
shoulder. I couldn’t lift my head up, because I felt so unworthy. Fear had
controlled me. His spell was on me. How could God come in and yet fear had
dominated every part of me. I cried, I sobbed…there was nothing else left to
do. Though deep inside, the desire to love and to be loved was there. It was
like a thirst dying to be quenched. I wanted to be filled with joy and happiness,
dwell in peace and harmony with others who seemed to live and love their lives
to the full. Then I had a still small voice. (Joshua 1: 9 Have I not commanded
you? be strong and of good courage; Do not be afraid, nor be dismayed. For the
Lord your God is with you wherever you go.)
I felt
something; yet another hand touched me. I looked up and there they were. Faith
and Love! Love lifted me from the ground and said “There’s no fear in perfect
love but perfect love drives casts out fear because fear involves torment” (1st
John 1:9)
“Please
walk with me”, I asked. “Your wish is my command.” Love replied and took me by
the hand.
I turned
to faith and she said, “I am the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of
things not seen” (Heb. 11:1) It then hit me- All this while fear had tried to make
false evidence to appear real. I realized that I should have only continued
walking with God who sends faith to carry you through and bring you to where He
wants you to be. Silly me I thought to myself. (Note this: Miracles start to
happen when you give as much energy to you dreams as you do to your fears)
Faith
took my other hand, and automatically I felt a burden lifted of my shoulder. I
felt light. I could walk up straight with my head held high. More people came
to witness the change. There’s this one interesting person called peace. Man,
this lady, was just what I needed most of the time. But above all the Holy Spirit took over. He never
failed to remind me the other friends I had around me to help me through this
journey called life.
We have
grown fond of each other. We laugh and enjoy our selves. I cry sometimes but
they are always there to lift me up, and when I get hard headed, it is there boss
who deals with me-God! J
Lesson
learnt...
In this
life people fear because they foresee, torture, pain punishment mockery etc. Your
relationship with God determines how you handle the fears in your life. If you
love God, you need not to be afraid, because He is all you need to get rid that
fear.
Let your
love for God increase; while it does, fear dies down. So the more effort you
put building your relationship the less time you spend focusing on your fears.
When you
fear what lies ahead, remember that God will stay with you through each of
those times and at the end He has promised great blessings. SO DO NOT BE
AFRAID!
Isaiah 41:10 “So
do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will
strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
AND
NOW THAT HE HAS SAID SO, DECLARE THIS…
PSALM 27:1 “The
Lord is my Light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength
of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”
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