UNDERCOVER ROMANCE

In our day to day lives we sometimes may think that no one’s watching when we are up to some mischief somewhere. At the moment someone’s stealing, tomorrow another is cheating, whether academically or in marital scenarios…whatever it is, people of nowadays have become prone to doing things in the dark. We prefer not to be seen when acting and not to be heard loud when commenting. Things happen behind the closet that only you and God know; while society looks at a brave, happy, hardworking citizen, deep inside your heart of hearts you know you are a disgrace due to your deceit.

Oh my God! A statement that repeatedly and annoyingly slips out of one’s tongue after truth is unveiled. We step back from the culprit whose been caught pants down and most probably go away from him or her to make them topic of the bar or salon or sleep over, or late night chats. Think about this scenario with me…

So boy meets girl, they go out, girl likes boy, boy says I love you, girl falls in love, tells all her friends and it goes on and on. What goes on and on may be seen and heard publicly for some. For others everything happens ‘chini ya maji’ like many would like to say. Petty excuses, if you ask me- I mean if you love him or her, why hide? If your conscience is clear that you are doing the right thing with the right intentions, then impress the world with the blessing that God has given you of your partner.

We often have this notion that when we are dating or getting to know someone, we now start to build walls around the relationship like we have already been bound together, yet of all the stages in your life, that is when you need accountability the most.

On one of our usual random dates, Maya,*a friend of mine, walked into the restaurant we had planned to meet in, unlike her ‘bouncy’ self. The usual her would glow as she sauntered towards where I was seated, obviously capturing the attention of every man in the vicinity. She’d wink at one or two, then flash her diamond ring, just to make a statement (that we both knew was a lie). Her joy would serenade the entire room, and as many would wait to see which gentleman she was meeting, they realised…it was just a ‘kawaida’ person… me!

But this time round she’d changed since the last time I saw her. She walked in slowly, sunk herself into the chair and buried her face in her palms. I didn’t mind asking how she was because it was a bit obvious to me. “I shouldn’t have done it”, she said. “I shouldn’t have gone on with it. Now look at the mess I have gotten myself into.” I didn’t know-who she was with, what they were doing, where they would go, or at what time. But it was pretty evident; everything done in secret was the origin of her distress at the moment. And now was when she was revealing to me, the story to do with her love life that no one else knew except her and her man-ex now.

That is what sin does. It comes in the most delightful and fun ways but the more you tolerate it in secrecy the more it grows and manifests and you are hooked to it.

I want to talk to those who most probably are in these so called secret affairs; the ones who hide under the statement, “we want to see how things will work out first before, we come into the limelight.” Yes, this is for you. If you’re the type of person that thinks you will always have a new strategy to fulfil your deceitful plans, this is for you too.

You may be having a secret relationship. You may be those who wait for midnight to watch pornography, or pleasure yourselves and find nothing wrong with it. You may be doing something as harmless as copying in a cat, well let’s see if indeed that is the case. You may be fantasizing night and day of how your experience will be, running sexual thoughts through your mind night and day thinking “no one knows, just me”…whoever you may be, both young and old, this is for you.

Listen keenly, whenever you are involved in something secretly, that focuses more on self-interest, you are actually indulging in sin. Just because you haven’t been caught pants down, doesn’t mean you are any better. In fact you are worse. My English primary school teacher once told me, pretenders are worse than murderers. I believe that statement is true; a pretender is unpredictable. A deceitful relationship isn’t for you, neither is it God’s plan to work where there’s deceit.

 I believe in openness in all that we do, especially as believers. I believe that we all need to act differently from the world and be the light that shows the others around us which way to go. God has commanded us in Matt. 5:16, that we should ‘let our light so shine before men.’ Now if we are the ones being ‘busy bodies’ in the darkness and entertaining each other in it, which light are we shinning? We shall all walk in the dark, and there’ll be no sense of direction. A blind man can’t lead another blind man. Be different; start turning your life around by purposing to act right and thus shine your light before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

The chances of sin growing in your secrecy are high. It’s in secrecy that the devil loves to dwell. And if you don’t watch out, you will give him a foot hole, which you will soon end up being buried in. Let your life be an open book-Live in such a manner that no one has something contradicting to say about your life in the closet and your life in public.

There’s something that you ought to know. Whatever is done in secret will soon be brought to the light. (Luke 8:17) Whatever you may be up to may begin as mere fun and delight. Though with progress, it causes you to compromise your stand and do that which is pleasing to the body and not the spirit. The pleasant sins are the hardest to avoid, so be on the lookout of those attractive temptations that come your way. The encouraging bit is that God in his favour and mercy will always provide a way out (1st Cor. 10:13). Do not at any given point, try to debate with temptation. The Bible says ‘flee’ if it is sexual immorality (1^st Cor.6:18). It says resist the Devil (James 4:6-8).

If it so happens that you have been caught in the middle of ‘romancing’ your act of deceit, do not be foolish to start giving excuses-or blame the circumstances around you. As human beings, we tend to quickly look for something or someone to blame for our bad behaviour. Get up and take responsibilities for your action. Because eventually even if you do blame and get away with it, the ultimate judgement will be made by God, who expects us at the end of this race called life, to give an account for every single deed on earth.(Eccl.12:14)

All in all, be accountable to someone. The Bible says; “confess your sins to one another so that you may be healed. And pray for each other” (James 5:16).  No man is an Ireland. There’s always that mature person you can tell to uphold you in prayer and to frequently check up on you to know your progress. In the closet, change your actions.

Instead of ‘nursing’ your desires, take time out and treat God to some ‘You and Him’ time. He too has desires; desires that you will seek Him with all of your heart; desires that you will love him more and more each day; desire that you will obey Him and trust his every word; desire that you will come to Him when you are down and out and feel like the entire world is against you…He wants you: could You not just spend some time with Him, know His heart and listen to Him too? Walk in the spirit. Keep in step with Him. (Gal. 5:16) If really you walk by the spirit then you will be convicted of any sin, especially those done in secret. It may be hard to actually confess, but imagine living with no peace for the rest of your life, yet you have an opportunity to mend your relationship with God. You will always be cautious of whose watching you and be full of guilt. Ask God, like David to ‘search you’. (Psalm 139:23-24) Be open with Him and allow Him to point all your sins out. He knows you better than you know yourself. Therefore let Him do his work in leading you in the everlasting path. Once he shows you, confess each of those sins to him. (1 John 1:9) Those secret dealings you are in, confess all of them. He is faithful to forgive you. Then finally, stop where you are! Make a complete turn around and return back to where you came from. Don’t look back, don’t leave the devil a forwarding address; just walk on a new path, committing that you will not continue in the sin of secrecy again.

It is high time, that we came out to live our lives in light. It is high time that we walked in the light of eternity. It is high time that we said, enough is enough, and allow God to step into our darkness and shine in our lives. It is high time, that we be like him, shine as bright as the noon day sun, so that all may know, whose we are and be drawn to Him through our actions that we do in the light.

In our relationships let us love in the light. In our offices, let us work in the light and succeed in the light. In our homes, let us declare the goodness of the Lord in the light. In our churches, let us act and do as we preach in the light. In school, let us be studios in the light.

There’s no room for undercover romance; for undercover romance is but for a moment-but action in the light results in great rewards for the future.