namwano

It feels good to be free! Free in the sense that whatever it was that was holding me back no longer has its hold on me. But my freedom has come with a sense of loss too. The kind of loss that I am not used to. You see losing is not really the issue, but being patient enough to wait on God for what He sees fit for me is the hardest bit. That includes purpose, godly company & ordained assignments. At this point in life, every decision is a destiny decision and so I cannot afford to take things lightly. Also how do you suddenly become bold when all you have ever known and mastered is living afraid? I figured, like a muscle, you exercise boldness. You keep working at it until it becomes less of a struggle and more of a lifestyle. I started regaining my life to heal in anonymity. A few close friends were aware of my journey and kept a loving distance to allow my wounds some breathing space. After coming from a war between who I used to be and who I really am, I needed nothin

 “I decided to take note of patterns because patterns never lie. If I could change my patterns then I could change my life.” In my previous post , I shared mechanisms I’ve previously used to tolerate sin. The feedback from the post had me dig even deeper and evaluate my lifestyle, my patterns and habits in the light of eternity. Let me fill you in on the biggest lie I have believed- that I can do life alone! The thought of appearing or embracing my need for help (even when I desperately need it) makes me cringe. Because I am a woman that would prefer to watch humanity tremble at my roar, envisioning my groaning and presenting my vulnerability is an attack on my manifested confidence-or is it simply pride? Yes, that is it- my pride; this puffed up attitude that I can do it all (bad and good) by myself.   God has wired each of us to be dependent on each other. I can prove this to be true, by constantly evaluating what I say to and about myself. The mumbling that has b