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DATING ME Pt.1




I met this girl on the mirror that looked like me. I could not help but notice the way she stared right back at me. I wondered why she was so keen to analyze every aspect and angle she could see! Her eyes sparkled, her stunning smile makes an addition to the stars. Yes, she was stunning. A beauty that captivated most if not all that were with her at the moment.
It was in those few moments that I realized and learned something about life; we may like or dislike what we see in the mirror. If you dislike what you see, don’t blame the mirror. Change the reflection. And that’s exactly what I did. For the first time in a long time, I actually did feel different from the inside out. How did that happen?
I dated me!

Can you remember who you are before the world told you who you should be?
For a long time, I was enamored with the idea of first becoming somebody’s rather than becoming “somebody”. I had an appetite for belonging that was fed by cheap morsels of lies recommended by society. I used to fear being on my own. I got comfortable in the lies with no room for the truth about my God given value and affirmed worth; little did I know, that in my lonesomeness I would get to learn greatly and deeply about myself. I would get to understand that I can be uncompromising yet embracing. 

Each of us has been uniquely created by God for an appointed task that no one else can do. We have an identity that sets us apart from the rest of God’s creation for ordained good works. 1 Peter 2: 9 puts it this way, “But you are a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” It takes a lot of courage to choose to withdraw from a crowd that gave you a false identity and come into solitude that presents to you reality. 

Nevertheless, inevitable exposure to different backgrounds and cultures, mind-sets and beliefs can sometimes cause us to think less of ourselves and get smart at knowing and treating other people better. Comparison gets the best of us, and while we toil so hard to be the next so and so, we waste a grand opportunity to be an original masterpiece. We spark an act of violence against ourselves by seeking for a better version of us, outside ourselves and in other people.

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God works best when there is no interference. He reveals himself when there is no commotion or distraction. He needs your full attention and cooperation to carry out His good plans for your life, in your life and through your life. One of His plans is to reveal to you, your true self. Your true self is not a perfect being, it is a well-known beautiful chaos comprising of both your strengths and weaknesses. This being, called “you”, can actually be a role model to you. But how?

Your being is like a piano; both black and white keys are required to play the melody. But how well do you know how to play the keys of your life?

On various occasion I am known engage myself as a pianist. Too many times, I avoid playing music on the sharps and flats because of this strange belief in a special kind of mastery to be able to play them. But that does not stop me from learning the combination of chords to play the song. I set time aside and learn the keys. I may not get it right at the beginning, but my persistence eventually pays off and I become a master of the keys to the song. Eventually I play the song so well, I suggest to add some creative juices to the piece and it sounds even better.

I believe this analogy brings to mind what it means to ‘date me’ or ‘dating one’s self’. Dating someone is simply getting to know someone better. You get to discover, “What is this person about? What are they made up of?” You explore them in a bid to acquire something or things about them that would otherwise not be known on the surface. Why not turn the tables and take time to know you? Explore who you are. T.D. Jakes says, “Most people are so busy dating other people yet they’ve never dated themselves”.

Ponder over this for a while, if you are to date yourself, would it be fine wining and dining with smooth conversation that is not limited by time, because you are true to who you are? Or would it be a tedious encounter with lots of awkward silences and pauses in a bid to search for 'right answers'?

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